What gives me the right to eat with unabashed glee one moment at the Chinese Buffet, and then beat myself up and complain for hours on end to anyone who'll listen? My philosophy has been, for the last few years, oh just enjoy the weight I'm at now because in two years I'm gonna wish I was still at it.. That's a bad philosophy.
So, I'm putting it out here publicly right now...
For the next two weeks I am giving up sweets. Let's start small and realistically. I'm not out to lose 50 pounds or go on a strict diet. That doesn't work for me. I'm going to start by simply fasting something. Hey, can I make this prayerful or does it not count since my first thought was for my own health and not to fast on God's behalf? I'm gonna risk it, since I couldn't do it without His help anyway...
Okay...on my mark...get set...go! Sweetfast is now underway......
On an important note: Annie and Anna got home late last night. I'll have proper info on their trip when Miss wakes up but ...what I've gotten thus far in my sleepy stupor last night was that:
a. Annie wants to possibly find a school to attend out there...she loves Colorado.
b. they have a wonderful art walk on 1st Friday nights...
c. my daughter is finding her own way in this world and I'm finding a way to inch a little bit out to give her necessary space in her exploration.
d. while "c" is exciting, it's painful at the same time. I'm truly excited to watch her find her way. I'm a bit jealous at the open canvas before her. That one is very hard to confess....This must be where the hindsight is 20-20 comes strongly into play. I remember those years as sometimes being tormented chaos. I didn't have Christ as my rock and and usually chose the wrong path out of rebellion. And both my girls possess a confidence in themselves because of their position with God that I craved back then.
I'm realizing as I write that there is a huge blindspot in my thoughts. MY future is a blank canvas too. In twenty years I'll probably look back at this stage in my life and be envious of those entering it, because once more I'll then have the benefit of "hindsight" won't I? Writing can be so very cathartic...
Father, please renew my energy to live for you. Let me see the picture you're painting on my blank canvas and when others look at it may they see YOU.
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12 comments:
Yes, we're both going to school out there. But, we'll fly back on the fourth weekend of every month to say hello. (;
Colorado was wonderful; thanks for letting annie go with me. She was the perfect traveling friend. I enjoyed our time so very much. Maybe the next time we go you can come too. (:
I don't think I'd ever have enough strength and persistence to give up sweets. That's one thing that holds me quite captive.
I remember when Anna (my sister) and I had landed at JFK after our first trip to Ukraine at the ripe old age of 16 :) Anna announced that she felt that she could now travel anywhere in the world... She is now in Nepal! :) We'll still have to get her back to Ukraine to meet her hubby at some point! hehehe
I love chinese food, especially at the chinatown buffet in salisbury!! Glad the girls are home safe.
Can't wait to hear about the trip, how exciting! And also what the open canvas of your next 20 years or so will produce! How exciting to think of the possibilities that are before us, even the next minute, hour and day. And just to think this is the rehearsal for the BIG day when we meet our Maker face to face and how awesome THAT canvas will be stretched out into infinity past.
My thoughts on sweets, don't give them up, just find something active to do instead! Easy for me as there really aren't many sweets I can eat here in Nepal or if it were possible, I couldn't eat them because of the gluten free diet I have to adhere to.
Jeanne, if you read this again, are you sure you remember this? Seems you and Dad have much better recollections of my words than I do. I don't ever remember saying something so absurd at 16. :P Also, am I now only allowed to marry a Ukrainian? What if I don't marry at all? What do you have to say to THAT?! Hmm? Yeah, I think I'll end there.
And yes, I realize my written English is atrocious! Sorry for all those English teachers and grammar police out there. Fortunately, there is spell check for the spelling police!
Anna, 1 you DID say that and 2, you only have to get married in Ukraine, hahaha... just kidding... but just keep in mind, we are ALL April birthdays... you wouldn't want your future hubby to left out now, would you?? ;) AND if you are to be married, I'm sure God will bring him in His timing!!! :):) I actually thought that I wouldn't get married... and now I am!
anna p: Confirming your announcement that you thought you could travel ANYWHERE all by yourself...
I LOVE this Peipon reunion on my blog comments! Absolutely honored by it:)
My regular laptop is in the hospital so I'm borrowing this old one and it is not conducive to writing right now. I'll try and find some creative juices tomorrow.
Oh...I failed the sweetness fast. I'll start again tomorrow....
As Scarlett said, "After all, tomorrow is another day"! I like her philosophy when I fail at my eating goals!
My new motto is "Just a little less". Can I get away with smaller portions-of course I can but I am like the little kid who has to have a cookie in each hand:-)(Actually, my down fall isn't sweets as much as anything savory, cheesy, and creamy:-)
And exercise!!! Where does THAT come from?! I AM NOT disciplined in that area at all!
I'm sorry Riverrat, the word "exercise" is not in my word bank....the meaning of it is....?
I'm working on the smaller portions thing... There is NO need for me to eat the same portion as Kolya! And I hope to by a trainer thing next week! I'd love to run :) and I got a weight lifting thing from a Brides magazine... we'll see how long THAT lasts, heh. Man do I feel it in my arms and legs! I'm going to try to do arms one day and legs the next... but alas, it's 10:30pm and have yet to do anything!
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